Insecure Writers Support Group -- The Language Fear

Dear Insecure Writers,

I like to think I do something extraordinary. I'm writing a novel. It's not a fancy one, with Deep Ideas about Human Nature. Not that there's anything wrong with literary fiction. At all. But I'm not sure I have that fibre in me. I leave it to others, with a better understanding of what makes us human. And while sometimes I'm afraid of people judging me for writing commercial fiction, it's not my biggest fear.

No. I'm afraid they will judge me for writing in English. Quebec's fight for French preservation is old and never-ending. I am proud of my language, of its lyrical sound, of its peculiarities and culture and warmth. I love it. But often, so often, I feel like I'm betraying it. So many words on a page, in English, trampling on a heritage I ought to defend. 

You have to wonder if I'm a hypocrite. I fight for French's correct usage, I preach its presence at work even in English-dominated domains (hello, science), and I believe in immigrants learning it, along with English. French is an integral part of what Quebec is.

Yet when it comes to writing, an art so deeply tied to language, I write my stories in English.

When asked why, I don't know what to answer. Sorry. That's how the story spills. 

But I know I will be judged and critiqued for it. And I'm afraid, so afraid, it will come from my family and friends. That they'll be impressed that I can, disappointed that I did. 

I'm starting to go public with my writing life. Every step – every new person I tell – is terrifying.

I can't express how good it is to have you at my back. You're welcoming, reassuring, energetic, helpful, everything! Thank you for being here. 

***

P.S.: This is part of Alex J. Cauvanaugh's Insecure Writers Support Group, every first Wednesday of the month. Your writing community is a great support for your fears, insecurities, problems. Don't be afraid to call on them, or to help your fellow writers. There are amazing people out there.

P.P.S.: I forgot to mention yesterday that you can vote for the pieces of flash fictions? I'm #214 on the list, if you wanted to go that way. :)

A Year in Creative Writing

If you've been hanging around here for a while (or, well, if you read the description next to my name XD), you know I'm a biochemist student. For the last three years, every class I've taken was related to DNA or microbes or proteins or chemistry.

I love sciences. I love it enough that I'll be going on to do a Masters. But before that, however, I am allowing myself a year of break. And by break, I really mean insaneness.

There is a short Creative Writing program at my University that can be completed in a year. I'm jumping in, and plan on completing it along with the two last Biochemistry class (which means I'm having extra classes each semester, which is why this is insane, but let's ignore that). Starting this September, I'll spend almost all of my time writing.

I don't know how useful it'll be. Very, I hope. I do know that a friend of mine did it, and loved it, and I hope that all of the critique groups and writing experiments will help me along the path.

That's my brand new adventure! You know the ironic part? All those classes... they are in French.

heehee.

The First Spark

Every now and then, a blogfest comes about with a concept so cool - or so close to you - that you just can't resist. The Sparkfest is such a thing for me. Every time I look back at why and how I started writing, I am amazed.

There are three prompts for this blogfest, all of which I'm semi-ignoring. It's the question on the bomb I want to answer.

Who set you off? 

My ex-boyfriend.

I've always maintained that you can learn and grow from every relationship. Well, my ex brought me to writing. There's no denying it. Without him, I'd have never tried a full-length novel. I would've stayed with short scenes related to roleplaying games, tied to each other with little structure. They were a blast to write, mind you, but they weren't novels.

They were for me and him, until the day he said they were really good. Not just fun. Good, writing-wise.

I don't know if he said it because it was true, or because we were, y'know, dating, but it doesn't matter.

It was the boost of confidence I needed to jump feet first into the adventure. It helped that I found NaNoWriMo just as I got my first novel idea, and that I managed to get to the end. It also helped that, just when I felt there had to be more to this writing-thing, I found Nathan Bransford and the Bransforums.

The very first spark, however, the one that set off the whole process, came from my ex-boyfriend. Some days I wonder if he'll ever know the wildfire he started.

So tell me, who set you off?

The Scientist and The Writing

I spent a lot of time in the last days examining my writing. Well, not the writing itself, but more my relationship to it -- why I do it, what I expect from it, what my goals are. You know the questions. You probably asked them for yourself before.

I've been writing for a little more than four years now, with something like 8 projects to back it up. I read blogs (and started my own), bought how-to books, participated on writer forums. I plotted, drafted, replotted, redrafted and edited, sometimes all on the same WIP.

Through it all I realised that the information I sought the most out of fellow writers was how they did it. Not necessarily how it should look in the final product, but how they got there (or are trying to).

Methods. Techniques.

I blame the scientist in me. Even knowing that every writer is different, and that someone else's technique might not work for me, I want to know. And with every new draft - every new attempt at this writing thing - he tries bits of other people's techniques.

Kind of the writerly version of the scientific method. Observe, Experiment, Note Results, Draw Conclusions. Try again?

I'm not done yet. My process is getting better and better, but I've yet to streamline it into a method that'll be flezible enough for most of my books, and fit my writing style.

As a side note, you should check Margo's mindblowing post (though perhaps not mindblowing in the way you expect it) at Wicked & Tricksy today. The content and title kinda prompted today's reflection.

And what about you? Do you steal bits of writing methods elsewhere? For what? Planning, writing, editing?

Juggling With Projects - How Much of A Multitasking Writer Are You?

photo credit: Matthew Bietz

Before I started writing, I couldn't imagine a writer working on more than one story at a time. While I had no idea of the actual scope of efforts and time writing demanded, I knew it was at least "a lot", and it didn't possible to stretch one's mind on two or three projects at once.

Fast-forward a few years later. I started roleplaying and realised I could hold more than one story in my head at once. It still wasn't writing, but I think life was trying to prepare me for the truth.

Today I alternate between six different WIPs. I tend give most of my writing time to one of them during a few months, with the occasional dabbling in another. Then the first is put on the backburner, the second becomes the main project, and a third takes the dabbler's place.*

I know, however, that not all writers work like this. The number of WIPs one consistently works with is like most other variables of the writers' journey: they vary from one person to the other.

So I'm curious, writer friends! How many WIPs do you work with? If you've got more than one, how do you usually function?

*Trying to pick the next dabbler is always tons of fun... in a very *head desk* I don't know which I prefer right now, aaaah!

Writing and Drinking

Hello, my name is Claudie, and I am a drinking writer.

In one of my frequent Wicked & Tricksy Twitter Takeover, yesterday, I asked the twitter-verse for research tips.

This was Hektor Karl's fabulous answer:  "I spend a lot of time "researching" the wine, whiskey and beer that the characters drink. I should win a Pulitzer."

OK, raise your hand if you do this kind of research, too!

It's an old tradition to associate writers with alcohol. Ages old, I daresay. After coffee, wine is my favourite fuel. Not too much, otherwise I can't line up words into a correct sentence, but there's no resisting a glass of good wine to go with a little creative juice.

What's your favourite alcoholised writer fuel? Wine, scotch, cocktail, beer? Name it!

(You are welcomed to start your post with "Hello, my name is _______ and I am a drinking writer. Even if your answer is "coffee" or "water"!)

N - New Bloggers!

We’re halfway through the A to Z Blogging Challenge, and I’ve got to say, this is a blast! It’s tiring at times, because there’s a lot of action, but wow, I’ve met a lot of cool folks.

So today’s post is for them. Here are some A to Z Challenger you should check out!

Geek Twins  - http://geektwins.blogspot.com/

I found the geek twins through one of Sommer’s link, and oh my gosh, I love them. This is for those of you with a penchant for comic books, video games, science-fiction and fantasy, and all other things geeky. Go read!

Bards and Prophets  - http://bardsandprophets.blogspot.com/

Okay, this is cheating a bit, because I found L.G. Smith slightly before the A to Z Blogging Challenge. I discovered I somehow missed her when linking to other cool bloggers as I made the Stylish Blogger award post, so I’m rectifying that mistake now. Besides, she is participating in the challenge and she is awesome. So she qualifies. There!

(She also has the most beautiful post about maps and writing, on M. Go back a day!)

Jeffrey Beesler - http://flettleglag.blogspot.com/

One of the A to Z co-hosts. His posts are constantly constructive, poetic and funny at the same time. I can’t quite put my finger on what works so well in them, but they work and I’ve enjoyed his A to Z entries since H.

Labotamy of a Writer - http://thelabotomyofawriter.blogspot.com/

Let’s be honest, I was sold at the title. Then there was the gorgeous header. Turns out the posts are as great as the blog promises at first glance. I found Anastasia on L day, which has a great post on developing your language, and ended up scrolling down to read the previous posts. Plus she writes high fantasy. Don’t you love to find writers from your genre with a cool blog? I do.

There you go! There are a lot of other cool A to Z Bloggers out there, but these were my newest and best discovery. What are yours? Don’t be afraid to leave links to them in the comments. Spread the love!

L - The Lair

Way back at the beginning of March, Sommer from Tell Great Stories invited us to share pictures of our lair – our writing area. I didn’t  have any at the time, but grabbed the camera to take some.

Yes, it did take me a whole month to take the pictures. Since I had them, however, and nothing to post for “L” yet, I held onto them.

Let’s be honest, my writing area is an embarrassing mess. Proof? This is what it looked like on April 4^th. It’s worse today, and the whole room is this way.

There is one interesting thing, however: the wall. I stick tons of things on my walls! Here’s the zoom in, and what’s what!

#1. Quick summary of White Echoes’ three VOPs’ storylines.

#2. A calendar with cats! Because I can’t use an agenda. At all.

#3. Awesome wall stickers given by my twin.

#4. I once typed “I ha ha!” instead of “ha ha” in MSN. Sometimes little things become an ongoing joke. He did this card when he disguised himself as Chaplin for Halloween (and had other cards for “Yes” “No” and “I lost.”)

#5. Inglorious Basterds postcard! This one is Aldo Rayne on a pile of cadavers with the caption “A basterd’s work is never done.” I believe we’re never done learning the craft. So it went there!

#6. NaNoWriMo donor postcard. The other one fell off. Today it is replaced by Sommer's Valentine card.

#7. The tiny moon crescent was done by a friend for LARP. I think of it as a good luck charm. It’s one of the rare things I’m superstitious about.

#8. A tiny squid with a magnet! I did these myself and gave them out to Wrimos who made donations to the OLL last November.

#9. The cover for Aheila’s blog novel, Unforeseen Dives. She’s one of my wrimos, and she’s awesome.

#10. NaNoWriMo calendar, with stickers! This is how I encourage myself during the month. I give one to all the wrimos, too.

#11. Larry Brooks’ Six Core Competencies. Some things are too important to lose sight of.

#12. Message in a bottle!  It’s words of encouragements from one of my wrimos. I had all of them write one at the start of NaNo, and we picked one at random, to open in times of need.

That’s it! Yeah, there’s a lot of NaNoWriMo things there. I get really passionate about the event. Keeping reminders of its greatness close to me cheers me up when I need to write.

Also, you remember the herpes plushie I mentioned last Thursday? Look above my laptop. It’s the round yellow thing with eyes. There’s ulcer at its right. They’re always watching me while I work!

So that’s the mess I write in! Apparently I don’t need order to be inspired. Good thing, because I’m bad with cleaning.

Looking Back At the Travelled Road

The other day I looked at a text from a fellow writer. I don't often critique others yet, as I feel I've got a long way to go. When I do give advice, it's with a heads-up of where I believe I am at in my learning curve.

Now this is going to sound mean, and it's not meant that way at all. But looking at her text? I knew how far along I'd come.

This is very satisfying.

It's always easier to see mistakes in other's text, but this was something else. I could see traces of where I was at about a year ago. Basic mistakes I no longer do.

I'm afraid there's little else to this post but the satisfaction of looking back at the road, and smiling at how far I've come (nevermind how far I still have to go). 

Enjoy the weekend!

Experiencing Life at its Fullest

(Would you believe this is my 100th post? It feels weird!)

Writers, I believe, have a special way of experiencing life. I, at least, no longer blitz through it without paying attention. Ever since I put the first word on a page and attempted to describe a scene, I discovered a new facet of life.

I had to see, smell, taste and touch everything. It's as if someone turned up my perception button one day. I have to feel the world and understand it.

Everything can be material. People talking on the bus. A strange customer at my grocery. The rich smell of fresh croissants. The super sweet candies I eat by the dozens on Thursday evenings. The foul smell of sulfur in my labs. There are no exceptions.

I realised this more fully last weekend, as I hiked through a forest with snowshoes. It's winter and most birds are gone. The forest was silent safe for our steps. The day was hot and snow melted, falling from the branches and to the ground. I stopped to listen. My boyfriend was a bit confused at first but when I motionned for him not to talk, he knew right away. I was doing this writer thing.

And then in the middle of a winter forest, I heard the strangest of sound. A fire crackling. It was the melted snow from the trees touching the still cold ground. Admist the tall pine, with not a human being in sight besides of us, it was magic.

I recorded this in a little part of my brain, which stores peculiar experiences for future descriptions. I'm not sure I would have stopped to listen four years ago.

When we started walking again, the sound of our snowshoes crushing the snow covered the crackling. I knew it was there, however, and I was glad I'd stopped.

The writer in me did it. I never loved him more.

Some Things Never Change

I did it again.

The oldest reader might remember when, way back in October, I explained how hard it was for me to work consistently on a single project. I'm not loyal is how I put it. I don't know why. Perhaps my brain isn't wired to spend too much time on one thing. The plan at the moment was to work alternatively on Edingher and White Echoes.

Surely, I could stick with two ideas, right?

Good one, that. This week I was reminded of how I loved Edingher's setting. Then, one night I woke from a dream with a brand new take on City of Spires, the only draft I ever edited. Not to mention February's new idea, with Fezim, which is the subject of my Script Frenzy and keeps haunting me. Four ideas. And I'm not even halfway through White Echoes' first draft.

I'm thrilled I have so many characters and plots dancing in my head. I am. But one has to wonder how I'll ever finish anything if I hope between four projects. I can't spend my life writing first drafts. It's not exactly the best way to learn to tighten my prose.

So here it is. Between the four projects, my writing energy went down. I managed to maintain the pace and even get ahead... until yesterday. I'll have to fight hard starting next Tuesday (no way I'll get a lot down until then) to catch up with the lateness.

March is fighting back hard, throwing back my old enemies at me, but I haven't lost the fight yet.

Oh, and tune in next week for the two last MICE story structure, Character and Event!

March is Butt in Chair Month

I haven't touched my five days. I've barely thought about it, and when I did, it was to reflect on how much I missed the writing. I had no time. Study. Work. Study and Work. The boyfriend. Work again (seriously, I think half my workplace was ill at once).

Life getting in the way, in short.

I realised something during those five days, however. I never miss writing as much as when I can't do it. This is good, in a way. What is less good is that when I have plenty of time to sit down and work on the novel, I do something else. I procrastinate.

March rolls around tomorrow and I'll have 15,000 words on White Echoes. I wish I had triple that amount. Especially since Script Frenzy will keep me from doing much in April (except the script, of course, which is for the Shiny New Idea I had at the start of the month)

What does this mean? March is Butt-in-Chair month. By the end of the month, I want to be at 50,000 words. This means a little over 1000 words every day. I can do this. There may not be November's frenzy, but I have my writerly friends around, and they know how to kick my ass into gears.

Discipline is essential for a writer. There will always be tons of things happening in my life to keep me away from my WIP. I might as well learn to deal with them right away.

So bring it on, March! I'm ready for you.

Edit: After receiving some feedback from friends, we decided to make this an 'official' event. If you want to join, pick a goal (it can be any side project) and jump in! We'll be tweeting with the #MarchisBIC hashtag. 

LOVE in Writing

I learned something else from J.S. Bell: acronyms are fun!

L = Live
Don't be afraid to try new things. Jump into life with your two feet and no parachutes. Enjoy the rush, cry when you crash, meet new friends and ignore the enemies. Life isn't meant to be lived hidden in a tiny bedroom. Go out, see the world and learn to love it, with all its imperfections.

O = Optimism
Believe in yourself. Keep a bright outlook on your career and don't give up at the slightest hump in the road. This isn't about believe you're the one exception. This is about believe that with time, hard work and perseverance, you can do it. Don't complain all the time. Life isn't bleak; it's fun. Smile and keep working!

V = Veracity
Be yourself. Whether in your writing or on the internet, don't try to be someone else. You're unique. That's what makes you interesting. Be true to what you believe in. Don't lie or hide. But remember to respect others who do the same. There's a little spot of the internet for everyone.

E = Experience
Draw from your past experiences and those of others. Observe the world. Observe people. Remember how it feels to be jealous. To be in love. To be terrified. To be happy. Expand on these emotions. Seek the universal in them. Admire the particular. Share what you learn in your writing.

More importantly, however, learn to LOVE what you write. Your story and characters are beautiful. They deserve your love and attention.

Keep writing. Keep living. Keep loving.

The Lonely Act of Writing

I miss NaNoWriMo. I miss the tingling of excitement and the wild rush of words on a page. I miss the pep talks, the forums and my fellow MLs. I miss knowing 200,000 folks around the world are writing with me.

More importantly, however, I miss sitting with writer-friend and supporting them.

I still see these people, every day. But we're not all writing together. We're not laughing at our typos, mocking our characters or retelling our latest bright idea.

Writing is lonely. I forget that in November.

These last three days were a sudden, harsh reminder, but they good for me. I need to be able to write consistently year-round.

So February? Stop trying to discourage me. I will get to the end of this first draft, whether you like it or not!

All the Lost Years

I'm not exactly an old writer. I'm 21 and perfectly aware I have a whole lifetime ahead of me. I still have decades to master this craft and become a professional.

Some days, though, it feels like I wasted a lot of time.

There's a lot of writers out there that have been wishing for this job since they were kids. They've been writing shorts and poetry and novels since they were 12 or younger. They've never been anything else than a writer-in-becoming (profession-wise, I mean!)

I do think that's awesome. So much, in fact, that there are days I wonder where I was. Why didn't I wake up sooner? How much better would I be now if I had started five years earlier? I had so much time during secondary school! (7th to 11th years to you guys). Then I get angry and bitter.

 That's not good. 

I'm not an angry or bitter person. I can't stand staying angry or bitter. So what do I do?

On these days I remind myself everyone has a different path to follow. I can't hurry talent. I need to take the time to learn this craft properly. All these years 'wasted' made me who I am, and it is that person who's writing today. They have an impact.

It serves nothing to glare at other writers and envy them. I have to make the best of my current situation.  Work hard. Work often. Learn fast. Don't give up. Never give up.

After all, that's how you get published.

Are You Plot, or Are You Pants?

There are typically two ways a Wrimo can get through NaNoWriMo: plotting and pantsing. The first involves careful planification of your novel before Nov. 1 hits and the second involves, well, winging the entire story. Each category has its own extremes, but also a multitude of in-betweens.

I have tried both techniques, and discovered I am a plotter. Last year I had a complete outline with every scene for my first novel and I breezed through it. Every now and then I added a scene, removed one or extended another, but it never veered of course.

Ten days after the start, I was done. And I was forced to take the pantsers' way.

It turned out okay, although I am now rewriting that novel. It's easier to do that than major edits. What I realised, though, is that every day during classes (shhh!) I would plan out the next 6-7k of my novel, to be written when the evening came. I could not come home with no idea of what was going to happen. I needed that plan. So even when forced to spontaneously write a story, I ended up planning it.

What works for me does not always work for others, however. How about you, Wrimos? Are you Plot, or are you Pants?

I'm Not a Loyal Writer

I keep cheating on a project with another.

Sometimes, I hear of old couples writers who've worked on a single novel for a decade or more, and I wonder how they do it. My love is fickle, and early after I finish the first draft of a WiP, I have ideas for another. (Yes, for NaNoers, I have year long plot bunnies)

"Come write us," they say. "We're new and sexy shiny. We'll be better than what you have right now."

I find it hard not to fall into the trap. Sometimes I'll note the idea down, hoping to revisit it later, but the excitement and inspiration is gone by then. So I move on to new WiPs all the time, afraid I'll lose the perfect idea while it's there. It's why I four complete first drafts from my last two years, and two more to be rewritten. I only stopped to edit once.

This year, I'm trying something different. I'll be writing two stories during NaNoWriMo, and I hope that by alternating between the two, I can keep the other ideas away. I need focus, or I'll never get anywhere!

Am I alone in this? How many of you have troubles sticking to one project? And how many of you only write one novel and stick with it?  (For the record, I think both are fine)

What type of writer are you?

Every time NaNoWriMo comes around, I realise once more how many different types of writers there are out there. Thousands of them start sharing tips and techniques, and give advice to each other. There are as many methods out there as there are writers.

When it comes to first draft, I tend to vomit it. Yeah, not very classy, but that's the reality of it. I blurt out tons of words super fast (especially in November), but they must be among the most horrible first drafts to see the light of day.

I used not to be a fan of editing (wanna guess why?) but I have to say the satisfaction of witnessing my muddled heap of words turn into a more sensible prose was fantastic.

What kind of writer you? Do you take years to write your first draft, making it a shiny being? Or are you like me, giving birth to a shapeless pile before you can work your story?